I woke up today quite naturally, having had the treat of a full night’s sleep, feeling sad. “Why should I feel sad?” I thought to myself. “Did I have a sad dream?” No, I remembered my dream, and it was quite humorous. “Is the weather depressing today?” I pushed myself off my bed and to the window and found that, while it was a bit cold out, nothing was particularly dark or unhappy. In fact, reader, the sun was shining and I heard the chirps of a bird that has recently settled in near my bedroom. Why was I so sad then?
I ventured out of my room (which, I admit, is quite rare for me to do on the weekend) and to the kitchen, shivering a bit at the cool tile on my bare feet. The lights were off. One of my two cats was asleep under the blast of the heater, looking content. I realized my family was not there. Instead, there was a note. It read:
We’re going to the store for a bit. Your aunt and cousin are coming here this year, so we need to clean the house before Wednesday. Please clean your bathroom.
-mom
“Great! Family for the holidays should cheer me up!” Though I thought this sincerely, I still could not shake the deep frown that had forced itself upon me. I stepped outside, still barefoot, and was met by a welcoming breeze.
In case I haven’t made it clear enough, dear reader, it was cold. It is still cold. It will probably continue to be cold for the next few months, actually. And yet I stood outside, barefoot, barely dressed, surrounded by wind stripping me of any warmth I might have had. I stood there, growing colder and sadder, until my phone rang.
“Hello?” I answered
“Harmony? Hey. What’s up?” A not-quite-friend replied. The two of us had boring conversation…until she mentioned the death of her uncle. A heart attack, she said.
“None of us were really surprised though,” she added. “He pretty much lived alone and was really fat and stuff.”
I answered her ramblings with disinterested grunts and hums.
“I don’t think anyone really liked him that much either.”
We finished our conversation soon after.
Of course, there is a reason I’m writing about the deceased uncle of an almost-friend. No one seems to miss him…so maybe it’s my job. Now, reader, I am not one to get overly emotional, especially over complete strangers, but hear me out here. Maybe this morning I mourned the uncle no one particularly cared for, because who else was there to mourn for him?
Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe I’m reading too deeply into the situation. But there is a chance that I’m not. So I ask you to consider that, reader. On those days that you feel some unreasonable emotion, like sadness, or confusion, or joy, consider that maybe there was no one else to feel it.
~Harmony
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